Grief
When a person experiences a loss that is significant enough to cause deep emotional anguish, the person's emotional, spiritual, and sometimes physical or financial attachment to the person or loss must be acknowledged in order to move on and heal.
Psalms 34:18-19 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers them from all of them.
Grief, by definition, is a deep sorrow or anguish experienced after a significant loss, usually associated with the death of a loved one. The American Psychological Assocation explains that grief often includes physiological distress, separation anxiety, confusion, yearning, obsessive dwelling on the past, and apprehension about the future. Some may even catagorize it into stages that grief must be processed through; shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, and acceptance. But in many cases, grief is much more than the loss of a person. People can experience grief in many different ways in their lives, such as a loss of an opportunity (ex. job or marriage), or the ending of a season (ex. childhood or motherhood). If not handled properly, this can lead to a deep anguish. The world has many ways of coping with these issues, such as medications or years of secular counseling. These are valid ways to cope, and do a good job of allowing us to live with and manage the symptoms of grief. Unfortunately, medication and couseling doesn’t always work for everyone. During these times, I am reminded how God is always with us and that He has given us tools to handle and overcome these situations in our lives.
2 Timothy 1:7 For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power love and a sound mind, discipline and self-control.
When a loss is experienced, whether expected or sudden, it can have a significant effect on a person’s emotional, spiritual and even physical wellbeing. Remembering we are not our emotions can help us when our circumstances feel so overwhelming. I am not suggesting we ignore our feelings, but rather govern their power over our actions. We can feel like we are dead inside while still knowing that’s not the truth because our heart is beating. We can feel like lashing out with our words or actions while having an understand that behaving like that will only make us feel worse. Grief is a part of the human experience. However, we are spirit beings created by God in His own image, so we have hope. The old saying, “time heals all wounds” is probably the worst advice ever. In reality, if grief is left for time to heal, not only will it not heal, but effectively get much worse. It is only God who heals.
Psalms 147:3 When I feel hurt or brokenhearted God binds up my wounds and cures my pain and sorrow.
Identifying the spiritual tools we have to overcome these times of grief will prove to be our best defense. Recognizing it’s going to be painful and hard is a good indication you are moving in the right direction. Most people shy away from hard things and run from anything painful. But God says
John 16:33 AMP, “In the world you will have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted] For I have overcome the world. [deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you].
Luke 10:19 AMP, “Behold I have given you authority and power to trample upon serpents [physical and mental strength and ability] over all the power the enemy possesses; and nothing shall in any way harm you.”
Those verse are great to confess outloud to remind us that we are not fighting all these problems on our own, because He has given us power to fight and overcome. Giving ourselves grace when we fail to meet expectations is also incredibly important. Allowing ourselves to feel our emotions and then let them go.
1 Peter 5:7 AMP says, “Casting all of your cares, anxieties, worries, and concerns on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares for you watchfully.”
This verse means He cares about what you care about and is continuously watching out for you. Communicating our emotions to trusted individuals in our lives but not dwelling on them can be effective in moving forward.
James 5:16 AMP “Confess to one another therefore your faults and pray for one another, that you may be healed and restored [to a spiritual tone of mind and heart].”
In addition, making plans for our future can give us the incentive we need to stay motivated and not get stuck in our head and get trapped in the cycle of anger and depression. Furthermore, our physical health cannot be ignored. Taking care of our physical health is as important as our emotional health. Eating nutritious and balanced meals daily will help you think clearly and process emotions more effectively. Exercise produces endorphins that have a natural anti-depressive effect. Even going for a walk can be a significant step in the right direction in the healing process. Having patience with ourselves and understanding grieving is a process while still having our eyes on the hopeful future that one day we will overcome these obstacles is paramount to our success.
