Dating Part 2
DOES THIS PERSON HAVE A HEART FOR YOU?
As you get to know your dating (and potential marriage) partner, you can determine if he or she has a heart for you by looking at his or her actions:
When the two of you are together, what kind of behavior patterns does he/she display? Are they positive or negative?
If negative, how consistent is he or she with those traits? Is the person willing to try to change?
Can they admit when they’re wrong? How do they apologize?
How long do your fights last? Are you able to talk about the fight after the dust has cleared?
Do they use sarcasm to put you down in front of others? When they put you down, is it in a joking style?
Do they stand up for you when someone else is putting you down? Are they protective of you?
Do they break up with you every time they are angry?
Do they have a heart for you? If you find that they do, please consider wise counsel so you have the strength to get out of the relationship.
WHEN YOU THINK THIS IS “THE ONE”: DATING WITH THE INTENTIONS OF MARRIAGE
Even though today’s secular society often visualizes the idea of dating to marry absurd, as a Christian, you must show clearly your desire for a serious courtship while dating someone, you must clearly show that individual you desire a serious courtship.
When you are introducing someone into your world, never be deceptive about your heart. Communicate openly. Both of you must make sure you want the same thing. Entering a relationship with trust and honesty is a cornerstone for a strong marriage.
Always show your cards; never hide anything. God will richly bless you for it. Once you’re on the same page, discuss what you both think is a reasonable amount of time to date before becoming engaged. Always be open and flexible if either of your desires to date for a longer time than the other before becoming engaged.
Proverb 11:3 says,
“The integrity of the upright shall guide them: but the
the perverseness of transgressors shall destroy them.”
Dating for a Good Length of Time
I challenge you to date at least two years before saying, “I do” so you can get to know each other. At this point, you might be saying, “My parents dated for three months, and they’ve been happily married for twenty-five years!”
That may be so, but dating someone for less than two years is a major risk, as it is often not enough time for each to discover the other’s virtues and flaws. Court each other long enough to see your potential mate’s weaknesses and how he/she behaves when faced with challenges.
Just because someone is a good businesswoman doesn’t mean she would be a good wife. Some people find it hard to juggle a relationship and a job, while others say the “balancing act” makes them better in each role.
At some point when you are alone, consider the following questions to help you decide whether the person you’re dating is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with:
Do they fit the most important characteristics in a mate?
Do they contradict their words and actions?
Do they follow the Lord in their interactions with others when the two of you are together?
Do they treat you well when you are in private versus public?
